I don’t deserve it
Scripture – I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant, for with only my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps.
Jacob had probably been fearing this day for a long time, the day he would encounter the brother he ripped off. He had a history of ripping people off. We was a rat and a weasel. Faced with imminent death he professed that he wasn’t worthy of the smallest expression of God’s love and faithfulness to His promises. The only ones in scripture, OT and NT who say that they are worth, that they do deserve anything from God, are those who don’t know Him, who are not in Him, or at the very least don’t “get” Him.
I do not deserver, I am never entitled to anything from God, especially His promises. Yet God has a steadfast love and faithfulness toward His people. As soon as I adopt an attitude that says, “I’m claiming what’s mine as a child of the King” and forget the Lord who bought me, I’m shifting my focus off of God and on to self. Does God want to bless me? For certain. Does that mean my life will be easy? No way. In fact God promised it wouldn’t be. The point is that all I have is from the Lord, and He gives it (or doesn’t) out of His good pleasure.
To echo Jacob’s prayer, “I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant.” Thank you for blessing my family and the church. I humbly ask for more.