While counseling with a couple I was reminded of the years when my kids were little, Jess stayed home, and I worked a lot. I wanted to jot down some stuff that helped me/us get through those very, very rough years. So rough we almost lost it a couple of times. Take them and use them as you will. They are in no particular order, other than semi-random.

  1. On your way home, of before you leave the office, call/text and see if there is anything she needs picked up. Do this a couple times a week.
  2. It’s your job to make life as easy for her as you can, at all times.
  3. The only time that is your own time is when everyone is in bed and no on needs you to do anything for them.
  4. Little kids are like soccer balls. There is only one team on the field and it’s made up of you and mom. The goal of the game is to keep all of the balls/kids in play.You are not a ref who watches and makes calls, you are a player. In fact, you are the team captain. There are no time-outs. There are no substitutions. Keep the balls in play or you risk getting kicked in yours.
  5. Bring home a small bundle of flowers at least once a month on a random day of the week, just because.
  6. Plan something for the two of you, or the whole family, without being asked. Even just a trip to the mall without the kids can be a nice break.
  7. Arrange to have a friend of hers take her out while you stay home with the kids.
  8. The financial provision for your family is on the clock. The rest of the hours are when you provide leadership and service for your family.
  9. When you get home from work, it’s OK to arrange a chunk of time before you engage the rest of the family. If you need 15 minutes to transition from work mode to husband/dad mode, your wife will make it happen because it’s for the good of all.
  10. While mom will want to talk about her day and what the kids did, she will often want to talk about anything other than her day and the kids because it’s what she did all day. Be ready, willing, and able to talk about something to keep her mind stimulated and interested in life outside the four walls.

So, there you have it. 10 tips for dads of little kids. Get to it.