Post CCSPC 2008 Syndrome

As I think I said in the “Here we go” post, I could have gotten as much out of the sessions if I had stayed home and watched the DVDs. That isn’t to say there was/is anything wrong with the sessions, it has more to do with how I process info. I don’t like crowds, I don’t like the eating with people and the usual chit-chat that goes with it. It isn’t that I think I’m above it or anything, I just genuinely feel awkward in those situations. Having said that, I could not have gotten what I did get from the conference via DVD or following the blogs.

For whatever reason people seemed much more approachable this year. I don’t know if it was me or them, it just was. I could give you a list of “big” guys I just walked up and talked to or sat next to like it was nothing for me or them, and it was totally cool. Not just, “Hey, how ya doing?” but “What did you think of that session?” and “What would you do in this situation?” and “Do you like that bag for your laptop? You’re new to Macs? Email me if you ever need any help.” It was just fun. I think I finally got over the fear of these guys that gets instilled in you when you are a student at CCBC. “Don’t bother them, they are important. You can’t run with the big dogs if you are a puppy.” (That last bit is a direct quote by the way.)

What did I get that you can’t get on DVD? I got to meet people who like what I say online. I got encouraged in person. I got some confidence from people that I didn’t know knew I existed. While my ability to be there was “sponsored” by another brother, he didn’t make me feel like I had to be around him all the time. He encouraged me to go and hang out. He encouraged me to speak my mind. He seems to think I have something to say. Let’s hope if it causes me trouble that it causes the right kind of trouble. Most of my life has been spent trying to stay out of the way, and man am I good at it. Looks like those days are over so long as I stay out of the Lord’s way.

I have some ideas. I have some new irons in the fire. I’m going to try some things that have never occurred to me to try. I’m sure some will flop. I pray some might stick. I’ll never know until I try. I have always thought that when the Lord has been saying, “Who will go for us?” that I’ve been saying, “Here I am, send me!” But in reality I’ve been saying, “Here I am, if no one else wants to go. I’ll be over here if you really need me.” As I said in an earlier post, it’s been because of fear. He hasn’t given us a Spirit of fear. And if we walk in the Spirit we will not fulfill the lust (or fear) of the flesh. It isn’t a sit, it isn’t a stand, it’s a walk. Baby steps. One foot in front of the other. I gotta have more cowbell.

Here we go.

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