As someone who has spent a fair amount of time vocationally as a pastor, I should love church, but I don’t. As someone who has always had a heart for young adults and discipling them to live like Jesus, I should be out there with a crew of people mentoring them right now. But I’m not. Why not? Like so many others, I got burned out and burned up by what we call church, both by leaders, and by members. There is too much that feels broken to make any genuine change or growth as there should be. Churches want millennials to adapt to them and millennials want churches to adapt to them. In many instances each side is right about what is wrong, but wrong about what to do about it. For me, current Americanized church culture has become a nearly impossible environment to minister in either direction; to the church and to the people. To a large degree that is on me. I own that. At the same time, most everyone thinks that they know what should be happening, but it’s usually based on bad information so nothing changes for the better. I’ve come up with a name for this bad-information-no-forward-motion phenomenon. I’m calling it “presupposition paralysis” and it is the elephant in the room no one wants to deal with. Well, here it goes.
Engagements and Weddings are very romantic. There is a lot of optimism. There are lots of dreams. It’s the beginning of a new adventure. Stop and think about all of the adventure movies you’ve ever seen. They are all about overcoming a series of obstacles and dangers, trust is challenged, but a lot of personal discovery and growth happens as well. This is marriage. You need to know what it means to be on the same team. You need to have Biblical understanding of what love is and what it looks like. You need to equip your crew of two to go on this adventure and know, as much as you are able, what to expect. Bad expectations are the biggest obstacles on this adventure. Check out this conversation with Corby and Jess about our experiences on this wild ride.
Many people look forward to getting married without considering the reality that what they are now is what they bring into their marriage. The struggles they have now are going to be the struggles that affect their marriage. The good qualities they posses will be the good qualities that bring life to the marriage. When we are single we have the opportunity to build a solid relationship with God and invite someone else into that. While we are engaged we have the opportunity to get ready to leave our own ambitions behind, to die to self, and to put God’s ambitions first as a couple for the rest of our lives. Check out this recorded-live video including some Q&A with Corby and Jess as they getting ready for marriage as a single person and an engaged couple.